“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” ~ Genesis 50:20
When were the last time you witness God turn set back into victory?
Read this story from a friend of Blessed Be and see how God turn her failure into something beautiful. Truly, as the Bible said “ashes” into “beauty”.
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“Before dawn, I was already freshened up and had put on my school uniform. I walked down the stairs softly. The living room was pitch dark and sounds could be heard as I watched the back view of my mother, busy about in the kitchen, preparing breakfast for us. Soon breakfast was ready and I looked at the hot porridge and the spread of dishes laying before me. I could hear my stomach start to growl with hunger.
As a little girl, I often took my mother’s cooking for granted. Little did I realize it was tough for her to juggle between work, household chores and cooking for us. It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I understood my mother’s hard work and dedication.
I came to Singapore to study at a tender young age of eleven. Looking back, I felt sad that I did not have much personal time with my parents. I was busy chasing my own dreams as my parents aged and grew old faster than I thought they would.
I still remember vividly the last semester of my university, I failed one of the modules. So I had to defer my graduation and intern for another six months. First time ever in my life that I had to re-sit for an exam and repeat another semester. It was especially hard because all my friends were graduating. Dad, while being deeply disappointed, still had to pay for another 6 months of my education. I felt so guilty and ashamed of myself.
Just because I had to go back to school, I was able to go home for a month during the school holidays while my friends were all getting employed. At that time, my Mom became really ill and she was reduced to skin and bones literally. She often had to lie on the bed, or on the sofa, and rarely got up and walked around. I felt so sad to see her being so frail.
Both my brother and sister were working in other states, so I was the only one who had more time on hand to take care of her. My mother seemed to know that she was going to pass on soon. She kept asking me to read the bible to her. Because I was a devout Christian myself, I was very eager to read the bible and to pray with my mother. After listening to the Bible, my mother would often ask God to forgive her. She felt that she had abandoned God for a long time and wanted to return to God’s embrace. She was very sincere and earnest in her prayers which really touched my heart.
One month passed by in a flash and it was time for me to return to Singapore for my studies again. This time I was resolute to do my best and not to let my parents down again. But before the end of the semester, I heard that my mother had been hospitalised. I told my father that I wanted to go home to see Mom. Initially he asked me to stay in Singapore to focus on my studies but I sensed that I needed to go home.
True enough, when I saw my mother, she was already semi-conscious. She was sleeping most of the time and I could see that she was growing weaker by the day. I feel so heart-ached to see her in that state. Soon, my mother left us. We were all very heartbroken, especially Dad. It was the first time I saw my father sobbing. My sister and I tried our best to be of comfort to him and to pray for him.
Although Mom was no longer with us, we were comforted because we knew she is with God now, where there are no more tears nor diseases. I was grateful that I could spend quality time with her before she passed on, having heart to heart conversation, praying and reading the bible together. We truly had such a wonderful time together, enjoying one another’s presence. It became the only chance I had to repay her for her many years of love and dedication for the family.
Looking back, I felt that God was the one who had orchestrated the events in my university life such that I could have that extra one month with my Mom. Had I not repeated another semester, I would have missed that personal time with my Mom forever. Only God could turn my failure into a blessing in disguise and a heart-warming memory for me to behold in years to come.
“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”~Psalm 16:11
This verse really ministered to me as I pondered over the passing of my mom. He saw what I couldn’t see, and He pathed the way for me, so that I can be filled with joy and eternal pleasures in His presence.”
Love,
Lydia
13092021
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The original Chinese version of the story:
神的恩典够我用
天还没亮，我就已经梳洗好了，穿上了校服。 我轻轻地走下楼梯。 客厅里一片漆黑，唯一的光源和声音来自厨房,只见妈妈在厨房里忙着为我们准备早餐呢。
不久早餐就准备好了。 当我看着热腾腾的粥和其它丰盛的食物时，我的肚子也饿得咕噜咕噜叫了。
小时候，我经常认为妈妈为我们做饭是理所当然的。 我完全忽略了她要兼顾工作、家务事和三餐其实真的很辛苦. 直到自己当了妈妈，我才明白妈妈的辛苦和付出。
我十一岁的时候就来到新加坡求学。回想起来，我很感慨自己极少有和爸妈好好相处的时间。当我在异地忙着追逐自己的梦想的同时，爸妈也不知不觉地比我想象中衰老得更快。
我还清晰地记得我在大学的最后一个学期其中一个考试不及格。所以必须重复一个学期然后再考试。这是我有生以来第一次得重考，真的很难受，尤其是看到我的朋友们都一个个地毕业。而爸爸，在对我极度失望的当儿，还得为我再缴付多一个学期的费用。我为此感到十分羞愧。
就因为还得再读书，所以那年的学校假期， 当朋友都在就业时，我反倒可以回家一个月。当时也刚好遇到妈妈的身体状况不太好。她忽然瘦得厉害，时常都得躺在床上，还是沙发上， 甚少起来走动。她整个人好像皮包骨似的，看了很是让人心疼。
而哥哥和姐姐都在外地工作，所以那时只有我比较有时间陪伴她。而妈妈仿佛知道自己快不行了，一直叫我念神经给她听。因为当时的我已经是虔诚的基督徒，所以我也十分积极地读神经并为妈妈祷告。还记得妈妈听完圣经后，总会叫上帝原谅她，她觉得自己离弃上帝很久了，想回到上帝的怀抱中。当时的她，祷告时，非常虔诚，诚恳。我很是感动。
而一个月，不知不觉就这么过去了。我又得回到新加坡上课了，这次我告诉自己不可以再荒废多半年了。可是学期还未结束的时候，就听说妈妈入院了。我便告诉爸爸我要回家看妈妈。爸爸本来是叫我不用回的，好好专心学习。可是我心中仿佛有预感，还是回家一趟比较好。
真的 当我看到妈妈的时候，她已经有些迷迷糊糊了，大部分时间都在睡觉 ，看得出她很弱。我心疼极了。而过不久，妈妈就离我们而去了。我们都 非常心痛，尤其是爸爸。第一次看到爸爸哭得泣不成声。我和姐姐都极力安 慰他，并为他祷告。
虽然妈妈走了，可是我们知道她现在与上帝同在，不再痛苦悲伤，也没有病痛缠身了。很感谢上帝，让我在她去世之前，可以跟她拥有那一个月的时间，一起读圣经，祷告，聊天。这段时光成为了我珍贵的回忆和我唯一可以报答妈妈养育之恩的机会：感谢她这么多年来的对我们的爱与付出。
回想起来 是上帝冥冥中的安排，才让我可以和妈妈有那段即温馨又开心 的时间。如果我没有考试不及格的话，我就不会有这个机会。只有上帝的 恩典可以包容我的失败，并且将那段时间变成我往后人生中的暖心回忆。
“你 必 将 生 命 的 道 路 指 示 我 。 在 你 面 前 有 满 足 的 喜 乐 ; 在 你 右 手 中 有 永 远 的 福 乐 .” ~ 詩 篇 16:11
这经文描述了我对上帝的感触，祂看到我所看不见的，祂为我铺路，好让我可以在祂的面前有永远的福乐与平安。感谢主。
莉迪亚
敬上
